Chocolate

I love chocolate. One of my favourite Christmas treats is Cocoa dusted French Truffles from Waitrose. There may be other places that stock them but if so I haven't managed to find them yet. I bought two boxes when I was in Norfolk the other week and started one of them the other day - yumm!!

They are just melt in the mouth gorgeous. I used to buy them quite often when I lived near Waitrose but they're only a Christmas treat now - or they were until I bothered to look at the box on Wednesday and found a web address - www.whoismontybojangles.com. They do mail order and have other varieties of chocolates and truffles.

I ordered some more on Wednesday evening and they arrived this morning so I would like to recommend this website to any chocoholics out there not just for marvellous chocolates but also for excellent service. They will be getting more of my custom.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year . . .

. . . to all my readers. Please translate these wishes into any other version you can think of - e.g. solstice blessings etc.

I have made some delicious pork and apple puff pastry sausage rolls this morning and they've turned out very well. Messy to make because the apple makes the meat very sticky - lots of flour needed . The cooking apple just takes away the greasiness. Lovely!

Cottage pie this afternoon for tea tonight and then steak in red wine for tomorrow with jacket potatoes and veg. Might seem boring but we decided not to go out because after it rained last night it froze so we've got a couple of inches of ice over everything. So that's why we don't have the festive joint of meat for Christmas day. We shall venture out before New Year and do a sort of Christmas dinner for New Year instead. We do have Christmas Pudding and mince pies and chocolates and plenty to drink so we shall enjoy it.

I hope everyone will enjoy their Christmas however they intend to celebrate it.

Still snowy here and a sad anniversary

We haven't been out since last week because of the snow and because we didn't actually need to. Some idiot hit one of the lampposts just down the road on Saturday because he was going too fast to get round the corner and the road is a sheet of ice and hard packed snow. Fortunately no one was hurt and the council came and removed the lamppost which was leaning at a drunken angle that same evening.

I was talking to my neighbour earlier today and he said the main roads are all right it's just the residential roads like this one which aren't. We may go out tomorrow as there as one or two things I want to get from Sainsbury's but if the weather is too bad we won't be going. We have enough to eat for at least 2 weeks. I do try not to get too much food at Christmas though it always seems to me like a good excuse to not really worry too much about what you're eating just for one day.

I shall be making pork and apple sausage rolls on Thursday. I had intended to make a Christmas cake this year but didn't so that is definitely on the agenda for next Christmas. Home made is usually nicer than bought. I have a recipe we usually use from a book by a lady called Elizabeth Ayrton. The recipe's title is Mrs Raffald's Bride Cake but it is just as good as a Christmas cake. It isn't too heavy and dark and from memory includes lots of peel and you whip the egg whites to make it nice and light. I think the recipe dates from the 18th century. Now Christmas food I can get excited about - just not Christmas itself.

The sad anniversary is the death of my mother in 1994 - 35 years ago. I can still remember how I felt even now. It was the shock of her dying at 45 which makes it stick in my mind more than my father's death at 80 in November 2000. His death seemed as though it happened at the right time and he'd had a good life - she had so much of her life left to live.

Depressing weather

It is just dull and miserable today and I really dislike this weather. It's about the only time when I would consider living abroad. But then even Mediterranean countries have dull wet and cold weather at times so I suppose you'd feel cheated if you lived somewhere that was generally hot and then got a day like today. At least we expect this sort of weather in the UK.

I have all my cards and presents wrapped up and ready to go now and most of the food shopping ordered - some of which is arriving today. I shall be paying a visit to Marks & Spencer next week because I've decided I'm going to get ready prepared food that I just need to stick in the oven for once. Then I can sit around and put my feet up. We limited what chocolates we had last year and I've done the same this year otherwise we end up still eating them at the end of January. We didn't feel deprived last year and felt we had the right amount.

I've just read an article suggesting we make too much fuss at Christmas and expect everything to be perfect - which we do - then there's the inevitable let down when we feel cheated. It is only one day after all and it's just so commercialised. I'm not even going to Midnight Mass this year as it isn't in our village. It's a pity because our village church is always full so why they've just decided to do one this year in this group of parishes I can't imagine. I suspect part of the problem is that we only have a sort of caretaker vicar because one of the parishes objected to our lovely lady incumbent a couple of years ago. It was hardly a majority verdict since the other two parishes - including ours - were happy with what they'd got. Why can't people accept female vicars are here to stay?

Happy Christmas

Christmas started off last night for me with a short walk to our village church and the Christmas candlelit 'midnight' Mass. It started at 10.00pm because as is normal these days we are part of a group parish and the vicar had to get on to the next parish in order to conduct their service as well. I hope his voice holds out as he has a cold. There was no sermon because he was afraid he was going to loose his voice by the end of the evening - for which we were all told not to cheer - this raised a laugh which started off the proceedings in a fairly relaxed manner.

There was a practically full house - even more than last year - which was nice to see - and there were mince pies and mulled wine for all. It was also good to see the majority walking to church rather than driving.

What slightly soured things or me is that because one of the parishes did not want a female vicar we no longer have the funny and charming lady vicar we had at this time last year. It seems a shame that people can let their prejudices get in the way. This year's service seemed a mite more formal and impersonal when conducted by a man - or maybe it was just this particular clergyman's personal style. Last year's was somehow more inclusive - or perhaps I am letting my prejudices get in the way. It had a different feel to it - though just as enjoyable and uplifting.

Today I have a meal to cook and television or a DVD to watch and books to read - a relaxing day where I do not feel obliged to do much else.

Happy Christmas everyone

The Winter Solstice and sombre reflections

The Winter Solstice today - the shortest day of the year. From now onwards the days get longer. It's when I start to see in early January that the days really are getting longer that I realise that Spring will arrive eventually. I tend to suffer from SAD but it is exacerbated by the usual gloom of Christmas, my birthday and several sad anniversaries.

34 years ago today my mother died of multiple organ failure at the age of 45. You would think after all this time I wouldn't remember it, but I do every time. I think it is probably because of its proximity to Christmas and my parent's wedding anniversary - 20 December - which is also my own wedding anniversary and the anniversary of my divorce. (33 years ago and 25 years ago respectively). I was married on what would have been my parent's silver wedding anniversary 20 December 1975 - it seemed like a nice thing to do at the time. I suspect now that my mother's death was part of the reason why I dashed with unseemly haste into matrimony just a year later. It was like clutching at anyone or anything which affirmed life.

Once again the festive season will soon be upon us and I find that every year I am more against the commercialism of it all. I had my Tesco shopping delivered yesterday and we were going to Marks & Spencer tomorrow for a few goodies as we have some M&S vouchers we've had for a while. Then I looked at the fridge and the freezer - both as full as they could possibly be - and suggested we didn't go. I haven't a clue where I'd fit anything else in so it seemed a bit stupid. We have booze - neither of us drinks very much; 3 Christmas puddings; chocolates; the meat we're having for Christmas day; a raspberry and frangipane tart in case we don't fancy Christmas pudding; fruit, veg, bread etc. More than enough with which to enjoy Christmas and probably New Year as well. So we've called a halt to it and said what we haven't got now we will go without.

It's not after all the food you eat or the booze you drink - nice though they are - but the people you're with which matters. You won't remember the food later only what you did and who you did it with. With that thought in mind I shall endeavour to instil some cheerfulness into my head - or at least less gloom. I shall start Christmas on Wednesday evening with Christmas Mass at our local church with my next door neighbour and remember what Christmas is really about.

Happy Christmas to everyone

Nearly the end of the week

I think I've pretty well caught up with the reading at work - and boy was there a lot of it - most of it not terribly interesting and all of it irritating. I hate management speak! The favourite in e-mails when you're telling someone something they won't like is 'Happy to discuss.' Translated that means 'You can say what you like but that is my final decision.' I thank that's the one which really bugs me at the moment. That and 'By close of play . . .' What are we? Cricketers?

For the next few weeks I'm intending to do a 4 day week by having Wednesday off. This should give my arm a chance to become acclimatised. It is holding up well actually and I'm managing to organise my work so that I give it a rest regularly. Then of course there's Christmas coming up - aaaaarh!!! I haven't done anything about that yet.

Off to have a shower and relax with a book - more about books read at the weekend.

Midnight mass and Christmas

I went to Midnight Mass with my neighbour last night. It was a candlelit service - nightlights at each end of every pew and proper candles everywhere else. The church looked beautiful, and it was a reasonable sized congregation.

Here is a picture of the inside of the church - without candles. Considering this is a small village - less than 1000 inhabitants - it is a magnificent church. It was commenced about 1175 and has a fifteenth century crocketed spire. This has been restored several times in its history including in the last few years. I moved here in 2002 and the spire had scaffolding round it then. The church itself was extensively restored in the Victorian era but still has many older features. It still has live bell ringing as well.

The service last night was cheerful and refreshing. We have a female vicar currently who tends several parishes. Our service started at 10.00pm and ended before midnight and she apologised to us for not staying to say goodbye to us but she had to dash off cross country to the next service which was due to start at 11.30pm. It is a great shame that our national religion has declined to such an extent that this sort of thing has to happen. In some ways we are almost back to the bad old eighteenth century days, where livings were in the gift of landowners who gave several at once to their favourite proteges and services were conducted occasionally if you were lucky.

On n the other hand perhaps I am the last one to moan as I have lived here five years and that was the first time I have set foot inside the church. I went for spiritual refreshment which I received. Perhaps I ought to go more often. I have never been confirmed though I have been Christened - maybe that is also something I need to look at doing in the near future.

I am a bit of a dinosaur I suppose as I still prefer the King James Bible - updating the language has spoilt it for me. It's the old fashioned language that does it in my opinion, and it's the old fashioned language which I remember. I find myself mentally translating everything into the original version. But the carols haven't changed - there's still 'Once in Royal David's City', 'Little Town of Bethlehem', 'In the Bleak MidWinter, 'Come all Ye Faithful.' The latter with its glorious last verse 'Ye Lord we greet thee/ Born this happy morning.' If I was a Catholic I'd still be rooting for the Tridentine Mass.

But our service as I say was relaxed and friendly, the sermon was short and to the point - You already have perfection why try so hard to make all the material things perfect at Christmas? Jesus is for life, not just for Christmas - no I made that last bit up myself. We had mulled wine and mince pies, and everyone was cheerful. There was a good illustration of God and Mammon when we came out - the very loud disco music floating out of the pub across the road. This served as a timely reminder that not everyone celebrates Christmas in the same way.

I think Christmas is too commercialised these days in any case. The mad stampede to the shops shows that perhaps we do not have our priorities right. Muslims and Christians worshiping side by side at Midnight Mass in Bethlehem shown on television said to me that there is hope for the world in these troubled times. Or is it just an indication things will carry on as they always have been? After all, the Crusades - 1000 years ago - were about removing the infidel from the Holy Places - in this case the Infidel meaning the followers of Islam. Strange how the usage of words changes.

At least the Pope and Queen Elizabeth seem to have synchronised their Christmas messages - watch out for the vulnerable. Cormac Murphy O'Connor may not have hit the right note when he urged us to be kind to immigrants - perhaps he should have said be kind to everyone. I think Rowan Williams may have missed the point when he featured Climate change - but that is only my opinion.

That's my Christmas message for the day.

I shall be cooking shortly gammon done in honey, roast potatoes, Brussels Sprouts and peas, followed by Christmas pudding made from Panettone - Waitrose or Sainsbury in case you haven't come across them.

May you have an enjoyable day and a very happy and prosperous and peaceful New Year.

To finish - two pictures from the BBC's news site - www.bbc.co.uk/news

This one is Christians in Iraq to the left.

This one is Christians in Palestine from the same source. To me these sum up my hope for the world. Peace and freedom to follow your own religion.

Monday . . .

Hospital appointment out of the way for a couple of months - not much change and nothing worth treating which will make any difference. Good news - other eye not affected. So on with my life again. I'm always in a scratchy mood before and just after. Back to normality now and on with the reading.

Started reading 'The Anti-Social Behaviour of Horace Rumpole' as I felt I needed a treat. Not finished it yet, but I will write about it when I have.

Why is it that people at work leave their common sense outside the door? I can't elaborate on that without getting into trouble but suffice it to say I have read so many stupid memos today that I'm practically reduced to Victor Meldrew's level 'I don't believe it!' A slight smidgen of common sense could well have prevented all the memo writers making fools of themselves.

I went out at lunchtime to get some gift tags - you know - the things you tie or stick on Christmas parcels? Woolworths, I thought - they're bound to have them, and I can get some chocolate as well. How wrong can you be? Christmas wrapping paper on a display stand - got to be the place - turn over small packet that looked hopeful - fairy light bulbs - ribbon in all shades of the rainbow - Christmas cards - temper fraying now as I was being buffeted by the crowd - turn over another small packet - GRHHHH!! - MORE fairy light bulbs. Calm down, calm down - look for chocolate - Lindt's Lindor - no!! It's Christmas - you can't just have chocolate you have to have boxes not bars. At which point I left Woolworths and headed for a market stall - it was market day - success!! I ended up with an Eccles cake from the bakers instead of chocolate - AND I had to queue for it!!

Relieved stress when I got back by filling in the staff survey . . . . Very very negative. Good thing it's anonymous!!

Most people's tempers seem to be fraying at the moment, and I shall be glad when we get to Christmas.

Sunday

What miserable weather! It's cold and wet and typical December. This is not my favourite month of the year even though it is my birthday month. I think I probably suffer from SAD as I never really feel normal again until February. That's not to say I'm down in the dumps all the time because I'm not. I just feel as though I have to try extra hard to get motivated. Most of the year I'm out of bed by 8.00am at the latest. The last two days I've not got up before 10.00!

I've only got this week to work and then I'm off until January 2nd. We're not doing anything for Christmas, just staying at home and relaxing. I really do not like the current trend of busy, busy, busy. Everyone needs time to sit and relax. Why put so much pressure on yourself to fit all sorts of things in if you don't enjoy them? I have days when I do fit lots in and enjoy it, but I can't do it all the time.

Once again I failed to take part in National Novel Writing Month. In case you haven't heard of it, it's all about aiming to complete 50,000 words of a novel in the month of November. Doesn't matter whether the writing is good or bad - just write and don't revise. I haven't looked at the web site recently, but I don't think there's a prize - just the satisfaction of achieving it. Some books which started in this way have gone on to be published.
Web site: http://www.nanowrimo.org/
Obviously this year's is over - but how about making a date for next November? I might just do that.

Off to finish Sophie Kings' 'Second Time Lucky.