Books, life the universe

Sunday, 26 July 2009

All quiet on the domestic front

The boiler is fixed now - fingers crossed - it was just an issue of timing as it wasn't firing up quick enough after the fan comes on. Naturally we both keep listening to make sure it's all right but that will wear off in a couple of days.

For some reason I was thinking this morning about a particularly useless comment a manager once put on my annual report - 'Jill should learn to see herself as others see her.' There wasn't anything to qualify this statement or any particular incident highlighted and when I challenged it I was told that if I didn't know then no one could tell me. Right so you're saying I have faults but you're not prepared to tell me what they are so that I can put them right? Well yes. In which case it's a good thing I've been moved onto another job then isn't it?

If I could see myself as others see me I'd be probably the only person in the world who can. You can usually see what effect your words and actions have on other people but to perceive yourself completely from everyone else's point of view is virtually impossible. I was always being told in my last but one job that I was too unselfish and always went out of the way to help colleagues to the detriment of my own interests at times. Not sure that's how I see myself and certainly I'm regarded as slightly selfish at home - which I don't accept because the comment is usually made when I won't immediately do what I've been asked to do!! Bit like a man's definition of a lesbian being anyone who won't go to bed with him! The truth as ever is somewhere in the middle probably.

I prefer to remember that not all criticism is valid and you accept it or not as you choose.


NAM said...

Annoying how these managerial comments come back from time to time, - how right you are about accepting criticism or not, too. We can all be difficult to work with sometimes, as a colleague in another department remarked of herself recently, but my main feeling is that there should be no surprises. If a situation is deteriorating, I want to try and fix it as soon as possible, not leave it to fester. We've currently got personal elements causing difficulties in a project at work at the moment, so your comments were very timely!

Jilly said...

Like you I don't like leaving things to fester and would prefer to fix them sooner rather than later. I tried on many occasions to sort the underlying situation with that particular manager but got nowehere.

I hope your situation gets sorted soon.